To Goal Or Not To Goal … That Is The Question!

I was asked this morning what my BIG goals were for 2018. I don’t yet have any.

Then I had a sort of mini-tantrum that included lots of raving about how stupid and masculine goal setting is. I wrote a whole other blog about it (which I’ve since deleted).

Why the tantrum? Because goal setting is risky. We’re risking failure. We’re risking exposure. We’re horribly vulnerable to all sorts of emotions. So the little me was trying to keep me safe by convincing me that setting goals is a mug’s game.

What if I set some juicy goals and get to the end of the year and they’re not manifest? I will have failed right?

Nope.

A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.”

― Bruce Lee

 

The truth is that goals tweak your focus. They keep you out of running off after shiny things. They set your mind up for a particular way of seeing – like when you buy a yellow VW Beetle and suddenly the road is covered in yellow VW Beetles. When you’re focused, you take actions in line with that focus.

The real skill is to focus on what it is that deeply matters to you.

If you’ve chosen your goals from your heart, they will push you out of your comfort zone, challenge you to grow and show you what you’re really made of.

Yes you may not reach them. You may fall flat on your face. You may make a total ass out of yourself. And equally, you may find parts of yourself you never knew existed. You may exceed your wildest imaginings. You may find yourself in places and with people you never thought possible.

Your goals don’t have to be about how many clients you want, or where you want to travel to, or how much money you want to earn.

You can have goals about the kind of person you want to be – I call these ‘who I am being’ goals. You can have a goal about the way you parent or lead staff members. These are as valid as a numbers based goal, maybe even more so because they connect you to what deeply matters to you in life.

The key to goal setting is to be willing to be vulnerable. Vulnerable to discomfort, failure and getting it wrong. We are all so terrified of vulnerability and yet it’s just a feeling in the body.

If you’d like to set soulful goals from your deeper wisdom this year, join me on December 14th. I’m running a free session that will help you to tap into what you’d really love to create next year. Register here.

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