feeling emotions

The Trick to Really Feeling Your Emotions – And Accessing Deep Transformation

energy in motionNever underestimate the transformative power of feeling how you feel! It’s a straightforward process. But there’s a trick to it …

Why Feel Your Feelings Fully?

We don’t fully feel our feelings (even the enjoyable ones) for varied reasons:

  • busy lives
  • family conditioning (especially around anger)
  • societal conditioning (self-doubt, anxiety and fear are big no-nos)
  • fear, fear and fear

Fear that we’ll be overwhelmed by emotion and unable to function. Fear that people will reject us if we allow those not-so-acceptable feelings to show. Even fear that we will be too happy and upset others!

However, when you gloss over your emotions, stuff them down, or dive into avoidance strategies like:

  • procrastinating,
  • eating way more chocolate than you want,
  • lots of wine,
  • a Game of Thrones marathon,
  • needling your partner,
  • doing doing doing etc etc etc,

… you will wind up frustrated, exhausted and bogged down by a flock of petty problems.

Giving full rein to your feelings is empowering.

The Trick to Feeling Emotions Fully

  1. Notice how you feel
  2. Locate the feeling in your body
  3. Name the feeling, eg. fear, anger, self-doubt, frustration, sadness, glee, joy, grief, etc
  4. Imaginatively drop into that feeling and really allow yourself to feel how it feels. It might be painful. The good news is it won’t last forever. And it’s much better felt than not.

MOST IMPORTANT resist the urge to put story to the feeling.

Do not say to yourself ‘I feel angry because Joe said I’m no good at tennis. That dirty Joe, I’ll show him …’ or ‘Damn that parking inspector. He’s the reason I’m out of sorts. If he’d been a little more reasonable …’.

You get the picture. Keep your mind on ‘Oh this how [insert feeling here] feels‘ and devote all your attention to feeling it. Get curious. This is a physical and energetic process, not a mental one.

When you add story to the physical sensation, the feeling will grow. Story feeds the feeling. Feeling it, shifts it.

And then what?

It’s only possible to focus on a feeling for so long. You will find your attention shifts and so does the emotion. Almost without you noticing.

That emotion may show up again, especially if it’s something you are habitually angry, fearful or anxious about. Repeat the process. Be kind to yourself. There’s nowhere you’re trying to get to. You are feeling your feelings because you’re human and you have feelings. That’s why they’re called feelings!

This Is Empowering Stuff

This is you taking responsibility for how you feel. This is you transforming your energy. And it’s easy!!

And if you get stuck, an Insight Session could really help. Drop me a line for more info.


  • Margaret Bending

    Reply Reply May 7, 2016

    Great stuff Pollyanna, it really helps to be in touch with your feelings. And I think you do become more responsible with how you handle them.

    • darling_lover

      Reply Reply May 7, 2016

      Thanks Margie. x

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